In the words of The Rolling Stones in their song titled, Sympathy For The Devil, “Allow me to introduce myself.” In the case of this blog, allow me to introduce myself…again. I am Missy Kuester and I run this site, not well or often enough but nonetheless its mine and I can do what I want with it. My wise friend, Angie suggested I start a series on my blog entitled, Dead Serious to explain the funeral process and share my insight.
I recently started a business called Haulin Kuester LLC. The main function of this LLC is funeral services. I have been working for 3 years in funeral services. I mainly work at one funeral home. In September 2023, the funeral home was sold to a larger funeral service entity. With that I became an independent contractor which means that I can work anywhere now. Making an LLC for taxes purposes was logical.
What exactly does a funeral assistant do?
People often ask me what I actually do. My typical day may look like this:
*Arrive before viewing or visitation in time to wash and vacuum cars. After we return from the car wash, we will line up cars in preparation for the procession to the cemetery.
*Greet/Meet the family. I will answer any questions they might have and direct them to the restrooms and the family room we have for them where they can rest, get a beverage or a snack.
*Receive and arrange any flowers that may arrive. The funeral director takes a picture of the arrangement and the attached card.
*Print and fold programs.
*Assist with boutonnieres for the pallbearers by pinning or attaching the flowers to the lapel or dress. I will pass out any other flowers to family members.
*I usually take my post by the door, opening the door for visitors and directing them to the viewing room and where they can find the sign in book. I also receive any gifts or flowers or cards for the family. No one can ever find our restroom so I will direct them to where they need to go. Often times, people will have questions about our services or facilities, and I try to answer their questions or direct them to someone who knows the answer.
*Monitor programs, the book, mints, tissues, and water for the family.
*Nearing the time the service is to begin, we will move flowers from the viewing room to the chapel. Many times, we have already set up flowers in the chapel especially if services are at a church.
*After the allowed time for the viewing/ visitation, the room is cleared of everyone but family. We then will turn over the time to clergy or a family member for a prayer or final memory. Then we encourage the family to say one last goodbye before we close the casket lid. If a person is cremated, we still encourage the family to gather one more time and pray.
*Once the prayer has been said and the final goodbyes rendered, 2 of us will move the casket or urn into the chapel, followed by the family. Even though we have seats reserved I often have to do some crowd control. The funeral director is making sure the zoom and sound equipment is working and the person conducting the service is ready.
*After the service, whether at the funeral home or a church or other venue, we roll the casket out to the awaiting hearse (or carry the urn) along with the pallbearers. Then we load the flowers into a van and one of us takes the flowers to the cemetery before the hearse arrives. We also do any other prep work which might include calling whoever is in the hearse to guide them into the burial spot. One of us drives the hearse and another drives the limo if the family has requested it. At the cemetery I will assist family or the funeral director. One of us waits after the ceremony to make sure the vault company is on scene to finish the burial process (usually after the family has left).
*After the cemetery ceremony, one of us might take flowers to the church or run errands for the family in regard to the funeral. The limo driver may take the family to a church or back to the funeral home.
*If it is a graveside service, we will set up chairs, flowers, the run, tables, programs, and the sign in book.
Other things I might do:
*Pick up cremains, take someone to the crematory, or pick up death certificates.
*Assist families with viewings and visitation (evening and daytime and weekends available)
*Give a prayer at a service.
*I can create slideshows and help select music for funeral ceremonies
*I can track down lost flowers (it happens a lot).
*I have gone on death calls, but this happens rarely.
*And I love to help people by answering questions about funerals. I’m happy to give advice on services or how to help someone who has lost a loved one.
I’m sure I forgot things. I do whatever I can to make a funeral service the best it can be for the remaining family. Our goal is always to do our jobs in the background and take care of things, so the family doesn’t have to do it. What I do is a mission, a ministry and absolutely a calling that I can’t quite explain.
