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The top three names for this unnamed farm

It’s come down to the top three choices as voted on by the viewers. Thank you all for your interest.

The top three are:

Flying K Ranch

haulinkuester Acres

ChrisMis Farm

We hope to decide this week when we are all together for Thanksgiving. Until then enjoy these pictures.

 

Farm at sunrise

What’s in a farm name

Recently, I went to my Facebook audience to crowdsource names for our new farm in Utah. I was blown away by the suggestions. Quite frankly, you are all very creative. I wanted to document the name decision so here is the process, chronicled for years to come. It’s not easy to pick the perfect farm name.

Round One

This is the initial list we got from Facebook:

Kuester Acres

haulinkuester Acres

The Best is Yet to Come

Next Chapter Farm

Prayer Walk/ Road

Stars and Stripes

Rocking M Farm

Condiment Farm

M and M Farm

New Journey

Kamp Kuester

Kuester Corral

A Wing and a Prayer

Kozy Kuester Kabin

Princess Missy Farm

M Squared Ranch

Scrabble Ranch

Muddy Paws Ranch

Kuester Kingdom

After AF Farm

Kuester Retreat

Beautiful Acres

Chez nous

Greener Pastures

Places des Grand Hommes

Magnum Way

Black Dog Fields

Magnum Acres

Where the Pavement Ends Farm

Where the Road Ends Farm

The Haven

Kuester Krossing

Wabatucky West

Mis Mag + 3 Farm

The Destination

Kind Kuester Korner

Omega Alpha Acres

Kilo 5 Ranch

Wallis-Frome-Kuester Farm

End of the Line Farm

The Open Commissary

Hallelujah Hollow

Delilah Downs

Magnum Manor

Missy’s Family Farm

New Beginnings

Kuester Homestead

Haulin Farms

End of the Road Farm

Delilah’s Boys’ Farm

Delilah’s Farm

Road’s End Farm

Flying K

Lazy K

Crazy K

Magnum Farm

Answered Prayers

Rest Your Kuester Farm

Where my Kuester Farm

Wonderland

Topshelf Farm

Kuester Downs

Kuester Hole

Green Acres

Pretty Acres

Peaceful Valley

My 3 Sons

Joyful Acres

Kickin’ Kuester Farm

Hidden Treasures

Kick in the Kuester

Kuester Ranch

Fly Over Farm

Golden Acres Retirement Home

M+M Family Farm

Permission to Land Farm

The Forever Homestead

The Sanctuary

New Chievres

It Ain’t Wabash

Delilah’s Playground

Delilah’s Ranch

Red Devil Pastures

Destination Acres

Wild Blue Yonder

Final Flight Plan

Flight Plan

Kuester Korner

Mountain Ridge

Done haulin Farm

Kuester Lane

New Life Farms

Circle K Farms

Aim High Farm

Nua Farms

That Last Stop Farm

Sit on your Kuester Farm

ChrisMis Farm

Lazy M Ranch

Kuester Horizon Estate

DD-214 Acres

Retired Homestead

Rustic Kuester Ranch

Missy’s Meadows

Place for Kuesters

Delilah’s Family Farm

The Lord’s Bounty Farm

Test and Peaceful Farm

Thanksgiving Farm

The Forever Home and Farm

Kuester’s Resting

Dirty Kuester Ranch

Heaven Homestead

Water Well Acres

Lost in time Farm

Three Magnums Farm

Hoosierville

Almost Wabash

Kuester Kurve Farm

Secondhand Farm

LaVraie Montagne

The World’s End

Where the Pavement Ends Farm

Red Devil Acres

Round Two:

This is what is left after the first cut of names:

Kuester Acres

Wild Blue Yonder

haulinkuester Acres

haulin farm

End of the Road Farm

New Beginnings Farm

Kuester Homestead

Next Chapter Farm

Circle K Farm

Aim High Farm

The Last Stop Farm

Where the Road Ends Farm

Where the Pavement Ends Farm

Kuester Korner

Round Three:

We lost some good ones…

Kamp Kuester

Kuester Corral

Flying K

ChrisMis Farm

Kuester Ranch

Fly Over Farm

Permission to Land Farm (bar name)

M squared Ranch (Math!)

Muddy Paws Ranch

Greener Pastures

Kuester Retreat

Kuester Krossing

Omega Alpha Acres

Done haulin Acres

Wild Blue Yonder Acres

haulin Farm

End of the Road Farm

Circle K Farm

Aim High Farm

Where the Road Ends Farm

Final Approach Farm

haulinkuester Acres

Flying K Farm

ChrisMis Farm

Fly Over Farm

Permission to Land Farm (Bar name?)

Final Flight Plan Farm

Stay tuned as we dwindle down more names on our way to finding the perfect name for our farm. And thank you for helping!

Wilderness interstate

The Wilderness that is I-84

Recently, my minister asked me to a testimony about being in the figurative wilderness. After prayer and much thoughtful consideration, I contemplated what the wilderness meant to me. It reminded me of my drive from Washington to Utah and the vastness that I drive through. It is there in the wilderness that is I-84 that I have learned to trust in God for protection and provisions. Included is my testimony that I gave to the congregation at Cornerstone UMC in Covington, Washington. https://buildingonjesus.org/

This is my testimony

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NyH9mDYECk  Elevation Church’s song, “My Testimony”.

We own a home in Northern Utah and have family in the area. Therefore, we travel from our home in Maple Valley to the Cache Valley in Utah a couple of times a year. On this route, we travel some isolated sections of the interstate. The most barren is I-84 in Northern Utah. Before we hit this section of the road, we stop in Twin Falls, Idaho for fuel and provisions. Once we make that turn south, services become scarce, cell phone coverage is weak, and the weather is indecisive.  But the grace of God, we have never broken down in this section of our trip. However, we have broken down twice on this route but in more habited areas where we could receive assistance.

This stretch of remote, American highway signifies something else to me. It is a faith barometer. If I’m honest, this road makes me nervous. What if we do breakdown and there is no service area nearby or we can’t get a call for help out to someone? But that has never happened. I forget that even though there are very few services areas, weak cell coverage, and unpredictable weather, God is on that road. He is in the vast wilderness.

I have walked through a spiritual wilderness

In my life, I have walked through spiritual wildernesses. Through seven military deployments, when my son had a seizure on an airplane on a cross country flight, when another son was attacked by a dog and required emergency surgery, and when son number 3 fell out of a second-story window and needed to be life-flighted. In the back of an ambulance with your kid is a wilderness. Giving birth in a foreign country while your husband is deployed can feel like a wilderness. I have felt alone, rejected, scared, unsure, and ill-equipped while in the wilderness. But all along, God was there.

My spiritual walk is a growing process. I have learned many lessons along that desolate stretch of I-84. God has never abandoned me there or anywhere else. His provisions never run out. There is no place that God isn’t with me. He is the service area, the cell coverage, and the weatherman on any wilderness road we find ourselves on, both figuratively and literally.

A highway for our God

I am often reminded of Isaiah 40: 3-5

A voice is calling,

“Clear the way for the Lord in the wilderness;

Make smooth in the desert a highway for our God.

“Let every valley be lifted up,

And every mountain and hill be made low;

And let the rough ground become a plain,

And the rugged terrain a broad valley;

Then the glory of the Lord will be revealed,

And all flesh will see it together;

For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.”

We will find ourselves in a spiritual wilderness at some point in our lives. But we are never alone or without provisions. When we remain faithful, we have all we need.

Prayer Road

Walking the prayer road each morning

The paved road that runs in front of my house turns to gravel just after my driveway. It then curves around the side of our property. If I go out of my driveway and turn to the right I can walk on the smooth, blacktop road.  However, when I turn left out of my driveway, I have to walk on the gravel portion of the road and not a soul lives on that portion. Initially, Chris and I would walk the paved portion. But lately, I have decided to walk the gravel portion. I have begun to refer to it as the Prayer Road.

Walking with God each morning

My prayer life has wavered over the past 40 years. In recent years, I have made a concerted effort to pray each day. I have learned that prayer doesn’t have to be kneeling by your bed with your hands folded, eyes closed, and head bowed. No, prayer is more of a conversation with God.

I take daily walks with my dog, Delilah. Additionally, it’s a way to exercise and destress. Now, as I walk, I pray. I intercede to God on behalf of my kids, my family, my friends, even strangers who are suffering, and of course for our country and world. I prefer the morning so that I don’t get too busy and forget. But also, walking with God each morning helps me set the tone for the day ahead. I love the thought that things are made new each morning.before the world tries to spoil it. I love the peace, quiet, and stillness of the morning.

He promises us the morning and with it comes water

From Lamentations 3: 22-23 we learn of the promise of each new morning. “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” I love the thought that he promises us the morning to bring a new perspective, outlook, or outcome to our troubles.

Recently, I had a morning revelation. You see, we recently purchased an old farm. With an old place comes issues. One such issue is our well. It’s a natural spring. We have a cistern and if you use too much water all at once it freaks out the pump or runs the cistern dry. One evening not too long ago, it happened to me. There wasn’t much I could do. The old me would have freaked out. Instead, I prayed and went to bed. I woke in the middle of the night to the sound of running water. It was a precious sound.

He promises us the morning and with it comes the water. It was water for my soul and spirit.

The Prayer Road

The Prayer Road for you may look different than mine. In the meantime, I have the luxury right now to walk as far and as long as I want. I have always said that one reason I love to walk is so I can listen to music. Consequently, when I walk I listen to music, Christian music specifically but not always.

Recently, I added a new song by one of my favorite artists, Dante Bowe. https://www.dantebowe.com/home  His voice is authentic. His song, In the Morning, helps me get in the frame of mind to walk and pray. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RjDTsnIUo-Q

What roads are you walking on today? Can you carve out time to walk and pray daily? What music do you listen to that helps you throughout the day?

How can I pray for you on the Prayer Road?

 

farm at sunrise with outbuildings

Renovation Update: Outbuildings

This is our next renovation update: outbuildings edition.

One of the things we looked for was a farm that was already established. We are behind many of our peers when it comes to buying a home. Chris has always wanted an orchard, a greenhouse, and a barn. We didn’t want to start at ground zero since we are in our late forties. The best solution for this dilemma was buying an already established homestead. However, it is hard to find such a place.

We liked this particular property because of all the buildings…okay, maybe not all of them, but most of them. The two red barns we really wanted and all the others were a bonus. After inspecting them we realized that many of the buildings were haphazardly built. We decided to start dismantling them right away. It was gratifying to tear down what we considered derelict buildings. All of the outbuildings had electricity which meant we had to carefully disconnect them as well.

A Quonset hut, the cat building, and the new woodshed

outbuildings
Left to right: new woodshed (what we call the garage), the cat building, and the Quonset hut.

Most people only see three outbuildings in the picture above but it’s more like 5. The metal, fake Quonset hut no longer exists. The structure was built using gray, electrical tubing with sheet metal drilled in. Therefore, it was not geometrically correct and bothered those with OCD.

The brown sided cedar building is what we refer to as the cat building. The two doors on the front go to two separate rooms. The door to the left (the glass one), went into a storage area where every wall had floor to ceiling shelves. Door number 2 goes into an area that has a gravel floor. Through that area is a maze to a couple of other pen-like rooms that we were told once held approximately 50 cats. The old owner believed he was saving the cats from being harmed by wild animals.

Finally, the white building to the left is what we refer to as the garage. It has a nice cement floor and is dry. For now, we will keep it and use it as a garden/woodshed. Consequently, we tore down the old woodshed because it was dilapidated and blocking my view of the mountains. One day when we expand off the back of the house, the garage will come down.

Horse visitors welcome

outbuldings4
Magnum inspecting the horse barn.

The back portion of the property is fenced in. We have this horse stable/paddock and we will keep it in case a visitor wants to stop in or a local farmer wants to rent the pasture. It’s not in bad shape, just needs to be cleaned out and around it.

Don’t mind these buildings

outbuildings3
These two buildings will be torn down in the future

These two buildings next to the big red barn are set to be burned/ torn down. Right now, we just haven’t had time. The white building is housing any junk we find on the property. We have already had one dumpster of junk hauled away.

outbuilding6
This building was once a dog shed and we will move it to the back of the property to use as a well/pumphouse

This little building will remain because we will move it to the back of the property and use it as a well house for the pasture water well. Right now the pump to our agricultural well is disconnected because of shoddy craftsmanship that Chris will correct next summer. We can repurpose this shed to shelter that wellhead and pump.

The keepers

The red barn caught Magnum’s eye and was a deciding factor in our purchase. Ultimately, he has always wanted a shop to work in. It is insulated so is warm in the winter and cool in the summer. The cement floor, a propane heater, and electricity are all bonuses. In the future, we will have RV hookups next to this barn.

interior of red barn
Interior of the red barn. Heavily insulated.

The faded red barn in the pasture is the Sheep barn. At one time they raised sheep and there is evidence of that in this barn. The barn isn’t very tall and has a rather large metal beam down the middle. The sellers claim is floods but as far as we can see it sits at the highest point on the property. In the meantime, it will be the Jeep barn. Sheep to Jeep barn sounds about right. Right now it houses material we have salvaged from the other buildings.

I have always admired red barns and wanted one. Although I would prefer a wood barn, these will have to do.  Find out more on why barns are typically red, https://www.farmersalmanac.com/barns-painted-red-240

Not sure what the next post will be about but stay turned. There is always a story here.

Before renovation

Restoration Update #1: From the Inside

We still haven’t named our farm/ranch so for now it’s just Our Place.  What is the difference between a farm and ranch? https://www.land.com/buying/difference-between-farm-and-ranch/  According to this article our 7.5 acres with no current animals or crops is a farm. Don’t tell Delilah, the dog as she considers herself a ranch dog. So, we’ll keep stewing on that name for our farm.

Our house was originally built in 1908 in Logan, Utah but at some point, it was moved to its current location. If I had to guess, it is a kit home. http://www.searsarchives.com/homes/1908-1914.htm

So here is our first Renovation Update: From the Inside.

Don’t judge a house by its crappy vinyl siding

In the Cache Valley, it’s hard to find a house with land. This was a unique piece of property but it ain’t pretty. We have grand plans down the road. When we move in permanently in July 2021, we will hire an architect or engineer to tell us if the house is worth remodeling or if we should start over. For now it’s liveable.

People asked for pictures of the inside. Here are some. Excuse my photo gallery, it’s not perfect either.

 

Thanks for following along. I hope you’re in for the long haul.

 

 

 

 

Utah house in winter

When God plans it, you can’t stop it

I’m a praying woman. But I haven’t always prayed expecting my prayers to be answered. I know that makes me an imperfect Christian but it makes me human. Several months ago when Magnum and I started talking about our plan when he retires from the Air Force in July 2021 I began to pray. I began to pray to settle on a certain town, area, or state. Then, I prayed for opportunities and doors to be opened. In addition, I prayed for jobs and housing. I prayed for God’s will but I failed to specify a time. They say timing is everything but God’s timing is not predictable. Opportunity knocks when you are doing something else. But I know this, with His timing comes his provisions. When God plans it, you can’t stop it.

If I could buy this place I would

Spring Break of 2019, Magnum was deployed. I decided to drive with Kid #2 and #3 to see Kid #1 in Logan, Utah. T is a student at Utah State. It’s our favorite place to visit and where his brothers wanted to go for the week. I rented a house, saw lots of friends in the area, got a surprise visit from one of my best friends, and cried when I had to leave to return to Washington. I felt a strong sense of home.

Fast forward, Magnum returned home in October and we decided we would go back to Utah for Thanksgiving. It’s been our tradition. Instead of staying at a hotel, it’s more economical to stay in an Air B&B. I selected a place in the country. It was advertised as a quaint farm. It would allow all of us to have a room so it was perfect and cheaper than a hotel.

While staying at the house, it snowed 8 inches overnight. We were surprised to wake up to no electricity and find out we were snowed in. But it was like being in a winter wonderland. If I didn’t need to get out to go to dinner with family, I could have stayed snuggled up in the house. I posted a picture on Facebook and jokingly said, “If I could buy this place I would.”

If God brings you to it, He’ll get you through it

Fast forward again to July 2020. We had big summer plans but then Covid-19 happened. So, we salvaged what we could and decided to go camping in Utah, the Cache Valley. On the way, we stopped at our friends, the Hughes near Council, Idaho. They have a beautiful place. Sitting on their porch watching the sunset made me ache for a place of my own.

We made our way to the Logan, Utah area and set up our camper in a campground. I then received an email from Kurt, the owner of the farm we stayed at the previous Thanksgiving. In March, I had told him that if he ever considered selling we would be interested. At the time, he had someone interested but their financing fell through. The very day we arrived, he offered it to us.

I immediately said yes and arranged to meet up with his wife. We had to pass her approval process first. In the meantime, we continued to look at other places just in case. After we met her and she approved, the process went rather quickly. We made an offer, they countered and at the end of the day, we agreed on a price.

We returned to Washington and finished the process with the assistance of our realtor, Johnnie. All along the way, things just worked out. We had some hiccups but I kept remembering the phrase, “If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.”

Utah House first day
This is us in front of our house on the day we closed. ©missykuester.com

Immeasurably more

Many people talk about the struggle to decide where they will retire after a long military career. When I prayed that prayer, I forgot how our God can respond; immeasurably more than we can imagine. I love Priscilla Shirer, author, preacher, and speaker. She talks about praying big prayers. We sell God short when we don’t pray bigger.

That’s why I am so content. I was along. For the next several months, we will divide our time between Washington and Utah. It is scary to think we will need to maintain two households. But I am certain that God will provide, He always does. 10 years previous to this, we owned a house in Delaware. Times were tough but we were certain we wanted to sell our house when we relocated to Texas. The house did not sell by the time we left and sat empty for nearly a year. All that time, we lived on less and paid a mortgage and a rental. God provided and He’ll do it again.

A change of address but an unchanged God

It is a season of big changes. We are taking them in stride. There are still a lot of unknowns but we are certain we are where we are supposed to be. We have a change of address but an unchanged God. God’s plans are unmistakable and they work out, you can’t stop them. Man, I’m so glad I rented this place for Thanksgiving. It gave us a chance to try it on for size. I’m also grateful that we live 13 hours away; we never could have done this living across the country. We have a lot of work ahead of us and big plans but God is in it. We’ll pass along our address with due time. Watch for updates on here, Facebook, and Instagram.

We are contemplating names for the ranch/farm, so stay tuned. Please leave a comment with name ideas.

https://www.explorelogan.com/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cache_Valley

Although our address is Amalga, we are closer to Smithfield. Our address is interchangeable.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amalga,_Utah

https://www.bestplaces.net/city/utah/smithfield

 

 

Second house in Texas

Military housing: Challenge accepted

On October 9, 2009, at 3:00 p.m., a knock on my door surprised me. I assumed it was one of the neighborhood kids asking to play with one of my boys at the park. As it was a Friday, I was ready to sit at the park with the other parents and have an adult beverage in one of those kid’s cups from Chili’s. I was months into a deployment so I had earned it. Much to my surprise, it was one of the military housing managers, Kathy. Beside her stood someone vaguely familiar. Also, with a deployed husband, I automatically feared the worst. Sensing my unease, they jumped straight to the point.

“Mrs. Kuester, we need to renovate your kitchen and you have until the end of the month to vacate your house.”

The first thing into my brain and out of my mouth was, “Over my dead body!”

The man, Jason spoke again, “I don’t think you understand. You don’t have a choice.”

And that’s when the challenge was accepted.

Finding out what I was made of

Anyone that knows me knows that if you back me into a corner, ask me my opinion or challenge me, I will fight back. Poor Jason had no idea that I was not passive. He and I were both about to find out what I was made of. (Find out more about me: https://missykuester.com/have-you-heard-about-missy-kuester/)

Let me back up.

Our family arrived at Randolph AFB near San Antonio, Texas in July 2008. We owned a home in Delaware that had not sold. Therefore, we felt it more economical to live on base. The day before arriving, Randolph military housing called to tell us a house was available. On our check-in, the housing office explained that the kitchen would be renovated in the next year and may require us to move out. We agreed because we were desperate. We moved into the house on August 22. A private contractor, Pinnacle Hunt had taken over months before so things were in a stage of transition.

We pretty much lived in bliss at 5 Northeast Road. With family in the Dallas area, new and old friends, and great neighbors, we were content. We loved the 1920’s character and charm of the on-base housing. Even though it had an outdated kitchen, I was thrilled to have a base house.

A bit of history on Randolph AFB Housing: https://www.433aw.afrc.af.mil/News/Article-Display/Article/1547475/history-comforts-of-home-coexist-at-jbsa-randolph-housing/

Early in 2009, we found out Magnum would be deploying. In preparation for his deployment, we informed Pinnacle he would leave in May. The house across the street (6 Northeast Road) became vacant a few weeks before.  We requested that we be allowed to move into it. “Perfect,” they said. So, with the help of neighbors and my family, we relocated to the house across the street.

May came and went, Magnum left, our lives resumed until that knock on the door.

The fight was on

By this point in my military spouse career, I had endured many deployments, gave birth to a baby in a foreign country with Magnum deployed, and moved…a lot. I felt confident in my abilities to keep things afloat. So, as soon as they told me I needed to vacate to renovate a kitchen that had already been updated but now needed to be updated again (lookup government fraud, waste, and abuse) I was upset. My first call was to Chris’s commander.  He was an imposing man, probably about 6’4″. He also happened to be a really good guy. We agreed to meet at the housing office. Upon our arrival, he did the talking. He asked to speak to Kathy, the manager. We went through the whole song and dance about ‘Did we have an appointment?’ and ‘Was she expecting us?’ No, and No but we were not leaving.

The great thing about the colonel besides his physical stature, his cool demeanor, his smart brain, and the eagles on his lapels was his notebook. Something so simple conveyed that he was serious. The air shifted when he withdrew that notepad from his pocket.

Throughout the process I quietly observed. The manager, Kathy answered the colonel’s questions and filled in blanks. He scribbled their answers in his notebook. Then he turned to me and asked one simple question, “Missy, is that how it happened?” I said a simple ‘no’. And the fight was on! The colonel gave the manager homework and we dispersed with a plan.

The military spouses’ guide to a fight, 10 things that may help you

There are a lot of details I am leaving out but I need to get to the point of this post. Sadly, this type of behavior is still ongoing. I want to share things that worked and what I learned throughout this process so it may help other military spouses.

  1. You should always start with the chain of command, even if you don’t have faith in them. Give them an opportunity to do what is right. Proceed from there.
  2. You find out who your friends are.  I heard from many people that my name was often mentioned during morning meetings on base. Well-meaning people offered their sympathy but no real help. The wing commander called near the end of this ordeal with no real help but empty words. One person stood out. We were friends before this event and he and his wife supplied me with pitchers of sangria during the deployment. In another world, before housing privatization, he had more say in the matter. He did try to speak up and he was told it was no longer his lane. One day, I received word that a Congressional complaint was filed on my behalf. I could only guess it was him.
  3. It’s important to get the word off base.  This was a valuable lesson taught to me by my friend Angie. She guided me through the ordeal. She sent messages to all the contacts she had in town; reporters, news outlets, bloggers, politicians, etc. When the wing commander said to me, “I’m getting phone calls from outside of base about your situation and we don’t like that to happen,” I knew I had peoples’ attention. Get the word out! I equate it to an abuser threatening you to not tell anyone. Tell someone!
  4. Document EVERYTHING!  I learned this early on with the colonel’s notebook. Write down everything. Record conversations, keep emails, and remember, that tablet may be your best weapon. People will lie, say they don’t recall or change their story. You need a record to protect yourself.
  5. Find your Allies.  Yes, you will find out who your friends but you need allies. I found people within the military housing office that did not agree with what was going on. Our maintenance guys were with housing before privatization. They were familiar with these older homes. Even before this saga, I appreciated them. During our future renovation phase when I was living in another house temporarily, they met me at the house to let me get personal items. Don’t look down on the people who have the actual keys to your home.
  6. Don’t ask, tell people what you need and want.  This was another valuable piece of advice from Angie. I stopped being sheepish and instead stated what I needed and wanted. At some point, they realized I wasn’t going to back down and therefore started meeting my demands. I wasn’t mean spirited but stood firm in what I needed. My kids were already without their dad, now they were being forced from their home.
  7. Find resources and help outside of the military spectrum.  Tap into resources outside the gate. I reached out to the VFW and The American Legion. Both of those organizations reached out to Public Affairs and put pressure on them. I sent emails and made phone calls almost daily to obtain advice and find out my rights. Educate yourself. One of the best ways to bring about change or bring awareness to a situation is to contact your Congressman’s office.
  8. It’s not always about you.  This has two meanings. Sometimes, the military housing office, management, and contractors are just doing what they are told. While it’s hard to not take it personally, it isn’t a direct attack on you even though that’s how it feels. Also, remember when you are fighting, keep in mind all those families that will come after you. As I told management many times, “What are you doing to the first term Airman (Solider, Marine), who is 19, new to the military, has a wife and a baby?” Always work so that you relieve some of the hardship for others.
  9. Shoot for the moon and hope to land on the stars.  After I learned to tell people what I needed, I shot for the moon. Initially, they wanted me to move entirely to a new house and never return. I asked the housing manager if she ever moved 3 times in one year. She then understood what they were asking of us. When they said I needed to move for 4 months, I told them to find me a place on base. They suggested a TLF room, but it was not comparable to our house and wouldn’t allow my dog. I also requested a furnished house on base and I got it.
  10. Use the power wisely.  After a while, I realized my power in this situation. The goal was to use it in a way that got us to our desired endpoint, a house with a new kitchen. It had to be done and the housing office wasn’t going away. The contractor slated our house to be the last one to be remodeled to allow time for Chris to return from his deployment. When workers failed to show up one day to work on my house, I called Hunt Headquarters. I informed them it was costing them more money every day I was displaced. From that day on, workers never failed to show up to work and eventually finished ahead of schedule. I think they were just tired of me. What I never did was become mean, resorted to name-calling, or became overly demanding. Keeping a level head and ultimately working together made the process go faster.

At the end of the day

At the end of the day, it all worked out for our family. I can’t say the above will work in every case for every person. Each situation is different. Our situation was a matter of inconvenience, not safety. If my experience can help even one person or give them the courage to speak up, then we win. Military families are resilient. But we also endure things that many people don’t. Our homes are our refuge. It’s the one place where we have a little bit of control in a lifestyle that requires us to be flexible, resilient, and brave. In the end, no matter the outcome, all that matters is that you are safe, healthy, and together.

And the next time someone tells you that you don’t have a choice, remember you do have power in the situation. I wonder what Jason is up to these days.

I wrote this post sharing my experience after becoming involved with MHAN, a great resource for military families living in military housing with private, managing contractors. http://militaryhousingadvocacynetwork.org/

 

Cohen standing on barrel

The one time my kid fell out of a window

Facebook is a time capsule that reminds us of life’s biggest moments. It also reminds us of the not so great moments. All of these, both good and bad define us. I had one of those defining moments on May 21st, 2008. I swear death-defining moments should not happen before coffee but that’s what happened. It was a normal weekday morning until it wasn’t. To this day, it makes me cringe to think about. I recently found when I posted about it on Facebook that several of my mom friends are in the club with me. It is a club for those of us that have had a kid fall out of a window.

Morning silence followed by chaos

I was barely through my first cup of coffee and was reading the newspaper (that’s how long ago this happened). My middle son yelled downstairs, somewhat panicked, but in a casual demeanor. “Mom, Cohen fell out of the window!” I knew my 5-year-old son was playing a computer game in his brother’s room. It didn’t make sense that my youngest (18-months at the time) would fall out the window. Why would he? How would he? Nothing made sense so I didn’t react. A minute or so later, my son walked down the first couple steps so he could see me in the living room. He repeated, “Mom, Cohen fell out the window.” And then he was gone. He might as well have said, “I want pancakes for breakfast.” It was so nonchalant. That’s when I heard the faint cry of someone crying outside the window.

Not winning any Mother-of-the-year awards

Any mother’s reaction in a crisis situation when looked back on could be classified as bizarre. My reactions that followed were not textbook. You learn in First Aid class to not move a victim. So, that’s exactly what I did. Upon opening the door, Cohen sat in a bush that was directly below the bedroom window he had fallen out of minutes before. My motherly instincts picked him up to comfort him. Step two of my not-so-perfect response was to call my husband at work. Not 9-1-1. Magnum had a bad habit of answering his office phone in speaker mode. When he answered he and his office mates received an earful, mainly an expletive-laden barrage of words. I wanted to know who had opened the @#$&?! upstairs window and I was pretty sure I already knew the answer.

A blur of activity, followed by fog

My husband calmly redirected my misguided anger toward calling for help. In my mind, I was saying, “I don’t feel like going to the Emergency Room today.” I did call for help. But I also realized that I nor my kid were in any condition to greet visitors. I could hear the volunteer department fire alarm go off in town so I figured I had only a couple moments to spruce myself up (a.k.a. put on a bra). Still holding my screaming child, I ran upstairs got dressed, and changed his diaper. I know! I told you, I’m not good at this kind of thing. EMT’s and paramedics soon arrived. I ushered them in. And as if out of a movie, they cleared off my dining room table, slapped down a backboard, and began assessing my kid. Like I would many times that day, I explained to them what happened. I desperately wanted to tell them, “I’m not a bad mom!” Unfortunately, this was not my first time in an ambulance with one of my kids. I have a full bag of stories to share eventually.

I need a hero!

EMT’s took us to the closest hospital. Much of that part is foggy. However, there were two things that stand out.  One moment was when our minister, Jim walked in the door. The look on his face told me just how serious this situation was and that he would try to make it okay. The second was when someone announced, “The bird is 20 minutes out.” Bird? My husband is in the Air Force and I have worked in a trauma center, I knew then that they weren’t talking about crows or a pretty red cardinal. The CT had shown narrowing of the spinal cord. Another surreal moment was when they took us to the helipad on the roof. There is a dedicated elevator to the roof. As Cohen was still strapped to the backboard, they wheeled him through the halls. People backed up against the walls as we passed. I could hear their whispers. “Oh, that poor baby!”

I document these times because in them I find heroes. I can’t remember names or faces but I remember how they made me feel. On this particular LifeFlight, there was a pilot, a flight nurse, and a tech. I was buckled into the front seat of the helicopter while Cohen was loaded underneath and behind me. The pilot gave me a headset and some basic passenger instructions. You could tell he knew the gravity of the situation but his voice was soothing. We took off soon after. I could see Pastor Jim standing down below by his car, ready to drive to the trauma center about 45 minutes north. The pilot talked to the air traffic controllers and then we started our journey. My husband was at that time a flight commander of the local Air Force base air traffic controllers. They were the ones that talked to the pilot that day. A friend of mine was actually in the tower when the flight took off. At some point, the flight nurse, called to me to tell me that Cohen had fallen asleep. Heroes were all around us that day.

Lessons I learned that day my kid fell out of the window

To wrap up this story, he ended up being fully evaluated and released after being observed all day. As Pastor Jim likes to say, “A miracle happened on the flight that day”. Certainly seems that way. I know thousands of kids fall out of windows every year and many are not as fortunate as Cohen. My friend Angie wrote an article that included Cohen’s story. Read more: https://www.militaryspouse.com/military-life/are-your-kids-safe-playing-upstairs/.

I did a lot of things wrong. Afterward, it took forgiving myself for not being attentive to my kids. Every time I had to explain to a medical professional what happened, I felt they were judging me. They probably weren’t. Sitting in a medivac flight with your kid is one of the worst experiences for a parent. I had to let go of anger aimed at my husband for leaving the window open. In hindsight, I realized I was suffering from PTSD. Above all, I looked for heroes in our situation and thank God for watching over us and planting that bush underneath the window. We had a lot of prayer warriors that day. It could have ended much worse. I share Cohen’s story because there are other parents out there who have had a kid fall from a window. I’m not alone. I also share so that another mother doesn’t have to go through that experience.

But it wouldn’t be the last time I was in an ambulance with one of my kids. To be continued.

Delilah in boat

The Legend of Delilah, the dog that rescued us

Today seems to be an appropriate day to do a post about Delilah, my dog. She’s not just any dog, she’s the dog that changed everything for us. You might recall in my introductory blog post that my one goal is to make Delilah somewhat famous. https://missykuester.com/have-you-heard-about-missy-kuester/

If you are not already, you can follow her on Facebook at A Daily Dose of Delilah: https://www.facebook.com/Daily-Dose-of-Delilah-109881860640160/?modal=admin_todo_tour

Delilah Super Girl
Delilah dressed as Supergirl for her First Halloween. ©missykuester.com

This is the Legend of Delilah, the dog that rescued us.

We were not looking for a dog

A year and a half before we found Delilah, we lost our beloved German Shepherd, Crash. We also had just moved from Belgium to Maryland. As a result, we were not looking for a dog.  As I waited in Maryland for my household goods to be delivered, I saw on Facebook that my friend Michael shared a dog needed a home. I responded with, “If only I lived closer (to Indiana) I would be interested.” Consequently, I thought nothing more of the dog.

However, a few days later after receiving 18,000 pounds of household goods, and a little down in the dumps, I decided to drive back to Indiana to be there when my godson was born. My youngest two kids set out with me toward Indiana. We left my husband and oldest son in Maryland. We saw Dean soon after he was born and enjoyed time with family.

One day, Michael noticed my truck in the area and sent a message and asked if I was still interested in the dog. In the meantime, Kid #2 fell off a bike and broke his arm. Admittedly, I was on a high from Dean being born and trying to keep Kid #2 from losing his mind over another broken arm (this was the third time). Therefore, I agreed to go LOOK at the dog. Does anyone ever just go look at cute dogs? No!

We arranged for a visit and decided we would take her with us. She jumped in the truck and asked no questions. It was as if someone told her they were going to take her home. I knew nothing about this dog. Even so, I bought a kennel and the bare necessities. In my head, I wasn’t really sold on her. That first night, she went in her kennel, cried once and I told her to be quiet. I didn’t hear a peep from her the rest of the night.

The only other obstacle was to drive 13 hours back to Maryland…oh, and convince my husband that he wanted this dog!

Delilah first picture
First picture of Delilah in the truck from Indiana back to Maryland.
©missykuester.com

Finding the perfect name for the perfect dog

We got her home, Magnum said we could keep her and we taught her what carpet and glass sliding doors were. For the first week, her name was New Dog, not the most inventive name. Subsequently, she answered to ‘New Dog’. We yelled names at her and she responded to none of them. We could tell she was smart. Nonetheless, Kid #1 insisted that her name would be Delilah before he even met her so that’s what we named her. Delilah Mae. She seemed to like it.

Delilah with Birthday hat
Sad looking Delilah wearing a birthday hat on her first Birthday. This started it all.
©missykuester.com

The rest is history

Undoubtedly, we have a lot of stories over the past 5 years, I’ll share those in a later post. That is the gist of how Delilah, the world’s most amazing dog came to live with us. She rescued me because I was in a new place, lonely and over the next several years I would have 3 surgeries, my companion through all the recovery time. Delilah came at just the right time, reluctant as we may have been, we couldn’t imagine life any other way. It’s proof that good things come when you least expect them and when you’re not even looking. She’s the dog that changed everything. As they say, the rest is history…..

Delilah
Pretty Delilah
©missykuester.com

 

What’s your dog rescue story?