Home » Archives for June 2021

Month: June 2021

Air Force

Dear Air Force: Had it not been

Dear Air Force,

Where to begin? How do I put into words how I feel at the end of a 24-year relationship that brought some of the best experiences but also some of the hardest moments? I can remember feeling excited and exhilarated but I can’t ignore all the times you made me feel scared and alone. Had it not been for the highs and lows, I wouldn’t have learned what I have.

Lamenting and thanksgiving

Honestly, I wrote and rewrote this post a dozen or more times. I just couldn’t find all the words nor the right ones. A couple of versions sounded too angry and I don’t want to bow out now with anger. My friend Ashley is a minister and preached many sermons on lament. See her sermon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vv7UxeFzbcU  The Bible has a whole book of Lamentations, prayers of anguish calling out in faith. Part of walking in faith is lamenting. Job lamented. Even Jesus wept. I realize now that had it not been for the lamenting, thanksgiving would not have followed. With pain, disappointment, sorrow, chaos comes praises of thanksgiving in the morning. Therefore, I find thanksgiving in the ‘had it not been’ statements.

Had it not been

Had it not been for Chris washing out of pilot training, he never would have crossed trained into Airfield Management. That career change opened up many opportunities for us. We never returned to a previous duty assignment or location which was a good thing.

Had it not been for his year-long remote to South Korea, I never would have discovered just how strong I really am. I met some of my dearest friends during this time. Even though it was a really hard time, I found out what I was made of. A sweet reward of this remote was that we were handed an assignment to Germany!

Had it not been for The War on Terrorism and living in a foreign country, I would not have experienced childbirth with three of my closest friends. This was by far the scariest thing I have ever gone through. It is a barometer by which I measure all the hard things in my life thereafter. I thought I was strong from that year-long remote, but this made me stronger.

Had it not been for all the moves, I wouldn’t have friends around the world. The friends we have collected are by the far the greatest treasure we have gained.

Had it not been for all the deployments, I never would have known who Missy Kuester is when she is alone. Over the years, I have spent a lot of time alone and I like my own company.

Had it not been for Oklahoma, Germany, and Delaware, I would not have my three sons.

Had it not been for all the places we lived, I couldn’t share those experiences with others. I can say definitely that I have lived there and known what it’s like. I’ve lived in other cultures and with people not like me. It makes me a better human. See my previous post about the exciting life my kids have lived, https://missykuester.com/reasons-i-dont-want-you-to-feel-pity-for-my-military-kids/.

Had it not been for assignments to Germany and Belgium and South Korea, we wouldn’t have traveled and seen places some people only dream of. I have sailed the fjords of Norway, stayed in a home given to General Patton near Normandy, and experienced the 70th-anniversary activities. I have stood on battlegrounds, been to Paris, gone in a boat in the canals of Amsterdam, Venice, and Switzerland. I have eaten whale, reindeer, and a lot of weird stuff in Korea. The experiences are too numerous to list here but I treasure them all.

Had it not been living away from our families, I wouldn’t have been able to show them the world and our beautiful country.

Had it not been for the 7 deployments, I would have never experienced the homecomings

Had it not been for all the goodbyes, I never would have had the hellos.

Had it not been for all the heartache and loss, I never would have known how truly blessed I am.

Had it not been for the Lamenting I wouldn’t have Praises of Thanksgiving.

Who holds the future

When I started this blog, my friend Angie asked me what I wanted to write about. She asked if I wanted to write a military blog. My answer was a resounding, “No!” As I explained to her, I want to be something other than a military wife. It has defined me for the past 24 years. It is time to be someone else. I don’t yet know who that will be but I’m looking forward to meeting her. I don’t know exactly what the future holds but I know who holds the future.

It’s been an honor.

It’s been hard.

I believe those two statements best describe our years as a military family and go hand in hand with one another. I’m glad we did it but I’m glad it’s over. I’m tired.

So, to you, Dear Air Force, thank you, for making me who I am. While you didn’t always live up to your end of the bargain, I know I gave you everything I had. 

Thank you Air Force, had it not been for you my life would be profoundly different but in the end I wouldn’t change a thing.

Now, off we go into the Wild Blue Wonder…….

 

 

 

Practical advice for graduating seniors of 2021

I was inspired by the tv show American Housewife on ABC. https://abc.com/shows/american-housewife  The parents, Katie and Greg give their oldest daughter, Taylor a list of things she needs to learn or do before she graduates high school. It got me thinking about my son who is a senior. With the help of crowdsourcing on Facebook, I compiled a list of things for him and any kid to know before they head to college or life on their own.

Here is our best advice for graduating seniors as they head out on their own.

Things every graduating senior should know how to do

  1. Iron a shirt
  2. Sew on a button
  3. Find a doctor, make an appointment, fill out necessary forms, handle insurance, fill a prescription or transfer a prescription
  4. Prepare to plan…have a plan to plan
  5. Time management, it’s everything
  6. How to do laundry
  7. How to call and set up utilities or transfer utilities (electricity, water, driver’s license, insurance, and cell phone)
  8. How to file taxes
  9. How to write a check (paper or electronic). How to pay a school bill for example.
  10. To get a credit card if they choose and use it responsibly. (Pay off the balance every month)
  11. How to mail a package
  12. Make a budget and stick to it
  13. Boil water, cook simple things.
  14. Change a tire
  15. Find a church
  16. How to make a bed
  17. How to fold a sheet
  18. Cook ramen on a hot plate
  19. Where to buy their favorites i.e shampoo, beverage, snacks, toothpaste, deodorant, etc.
  20. Set an alarm
  21. Write a letter, buy a stamp
  22. Basic first aid
  23. Get themselves out of a predicament
  24. Know an emergency number by heart
  25. Advocate for themselves
  26. Turn off the water in case of emergency
  27. Basic car care: fill the gas tank, check the oil, put air in the tire, fill up the washer fluid tank, etc.

Advice for anyone leaving home for the first time

  1. Have a contact list with names, phone numbers, and emails
  2. Don’t eat yellow snow
  3. Find friends slightly older than you to be mentors
  4. Shower regularly
  5. Call your brothers
  6. Don’t get tricked into gimmicks such as credit cards
  7. Have fun-enjoy every minute
  8. If you fail at something, learn from it
  9. You can always come home
  10. Stay away from trouble
  11. Don’t give in to peer pressure
  12. Careful of what you post on social media
  13. Mom knows best, dad knows second best
  14. Always do the right thing and good things will come to you
  15. Call your dad, he may not say it but he misses you too especially when he needs someone to help him move something heavy.
  16. Call your mom, she’s trying to let you do what is best for you but she wishes she could keep you forever.
  17. Protect yourself, know when people are lying, your safety and well-being are important.
  18. Sleep! Sleep deprivation leads to mental fatigue and poor choices
  19. Learn to talk to your professor or boss. Ask for help when you need it. Let them know if something is going on that may affect your performance, grade, schedule, etc.
  20. Weed, alcohol, recreational drugs make people fat and lazy, and unpopular.
  21. Never drink something that came from someone else. Only drink unopened alcohol.
  22. The only reason you should be in the news is for doing something good.
  23. Watch out for your friends.
  24. Do things that scare you but first decide if it scares you because it is unknown or because it is dangerous.
  25. It’s okay to say no

Final words for my graduating senior

Just some final thoughts for my graduating senior and all the other seniors. Be safe, be smart, be kind. Remember all of these things and more. You’re going to do amazing things and we get a front-row seat!

From the song by Mark Hariss, ‘Find Your Wings’, remember these words:

I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I’m here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXofFc3BBpA to hear the song.

Please visit missykuester.com for more stories.